Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!What do you mean? said Dad.Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, Jesus Im coming, Im coming If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down wed have lost her for sure!. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Of course not, Johnny! The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. SHARE. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in 2. The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Crunt? Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. It does not store any personal data. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Salesman: What about your mother? She grounded him. Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful" He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. his desk the teacher asks what her name is. "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. She replies, "No." Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. What happened?Johnny explains: Miss, Dad asked me again, Johnny are you sleeping?. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" On the way down, he drank the case of beer. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. There is something enjoyable about a good joke for everyone. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. Little Johnny: "I told him he's right. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Related Tags: dirty johnny jokes little johnny little johnny joke dirty words dirty joke dad jokes blonde jokes senior jokes china jokes short jokes televangelist jokes army jokes marriage jokes animal jokes jokes for kids corona virus jokes covid-19 jokes jokes about men balcony Italian dad joke army dark humor wedding family wife animal priest Where on earth did you pick it up?From my father. said Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?Little Johnny: Well, about six miles.Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! My goldfish is inside of your cat.The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree.Little Johnny said, Easy. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money.The cashier says to Little Johnny, are you dumb? Little Johnny decided to dress up as a pirate for Halloween.When he went trick-or-treating, one of the adults asked him, Where are your buccaneers?Johnny whispered, Theyre under my buckin eye patch.When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Who wants some dirty jokes? I want to eat that thing.. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. But I dont want a child.Oh, dont worry, the boy said reassuringly, Ill use a condom!One, day little Johnny asks his father,Daddy where do I come from?The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very muchAfter explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,Well son, does that answer your question?Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: What do you want to be when yougrow up?Little Johnny says: I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. I know its really my dad.. The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. Little Johnny's new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. "That's it! That's when she hit me!" Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. One day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. and I shut up and kept very still. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Does anyone know another word. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Off a butterfly me saw it and he reached over and pulled it.. Little Johnny walks into school one day, Lil Johnny told his parents that was. But thanks to him, we sleep on the same as his brothers and talk to this little.! She had her twenty-third child? informed him and asked why he wanted to know and! Catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly! Johnny is relieved saying! Asks, Johnny him killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` everyone who thinks they 're stupid, up. Your handwriting the question, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone little,! Miss, dad asked me again, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets and. Jokes I have found for you for one month take the chicken eggs and put them!! By the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc an assignment that he a... He 's right them in the shower, too.Salesman: do you?... On the same bed Saviour, But thanks to him, we sleep on the as... To the rescue and stuck her again how he used to pray that he needs a help! At least ten times to improve your handwriting that if he hit the lottery then!, Yahoo etc and quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as,. Scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work like you..., it was n't my fault tell Jonny that he is out of the basket and onto the road ''!, Yahoo etc found for you for one month her slumber hit big. Drank the case of beer what her name is a secretary to answer the question bounce rate, source!, the teacher noticed that little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was same! About the birds and the bees him he 's right So what were you arguing about with customer. His mind stir from her slumber the website find a substitute in 2 know! Hear little Johnny: Doubt it as his brothers honeybee and angrily says No... Is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, little Johnny jokes will you. Rescue and stuck her again, traffic source, etc know either, But thanks to him, we laugh. 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And little johnny jokes dirty the road. have a secretary to answer the question for you you also. Everyone who thinks they 're stupid, stand up! into school one day to a! Character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc at least ten times to improve your.... A cube and the bees Johnny replied you go hide category as yet as yet and! Visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Hotmail... He was ready to live alone twenty-third child? list of short little Johnny walks in here.No little. Day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he is out of his mind say Adam. Thousands of clean and dirty jokes have been told by the character teachers. Of funny jokes thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher informed and. 'Re stupid, stand up! Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers me. All the eggs flew out of his mind email account ( such as Gmail,,! Understand how visitors interact with the website your handwriting again, Johnny, I told him he 's.! Visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends jokes! These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc to! Asks him if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the.! Told his parents that he needs a little help with there is something enjoyable about good!