I am going to have to give up my future with the one I love because a stupid disobedient, manipulative dog. A mean landlord had a cat that do anything to stop it isometric refuse lee took the cat to a different town an.d found a new home all in secret. i have three chihuahuas who i had long before me and him met and the first thing i asked was if he liked dogs. Constant rubbing and petting, an overly desperate needy animal. My husband was mean to her I found out later as he apologized. She wasnt a good girl, she came when she was ready, regardless to the other 8 attempts he made. Just changed some psychology in my way of thinking and its not that important. You are right in that you need two fairly like-minded people and this is one case in which we view things very differently. Something else I will be happy to discuss but dog H*** NO. Btw we live in a apartment -_-. Divorce him? Dear, reading your post made me so sad. Period. Now he wasnt allowed on the bedeven if he was laying right beside me away from my husbands side. We have constant fights about it, especially when I try to discuss any sort of training with him. Please treat them as such. I didnt want it but I was new to the relationship and we didnt live together so it wasnt my place to say so. Thankfully, we live somewhere else and we cant have them, but the time will come that we will get our own place and I dont want those dogs! I have mild allergies so she irritates my nose when in close proximity not to mention I think a dog in bed is so unsanitary. They are not. He obsesses over every detail related to this dog what it eats, what it plays with, where it is, how often it poops, etc. If you dont agree then thats why youre single. To add to the complications, we are unable to have children, I have come to terms with this after 8 years of disappointment, he has not found it so easy. So we decided to take action and ask our landlord to have her live with us, the landlord said yes. And should i have to worry about our future childrens safety? Had I known it would be like this Im not sure we would be together because Im just not into dogs the way she is. You and your boyfriend need to sit down and have a discussion about the compromises you will both make. This dog is horrible and is ruining my life. Im so stressed out in my own home its not fair. They were part of my family. I dont know what to do. I know everyone else just thinks Im jealous of these dogs, but thats not it. Anyway, we both have 3 kids each & mutually decided that 3 dogs in the house along with 8 humans was simply too much to deal with. Im still trying to get him to potty train.. The article is right, you DONT HAVE TO LOVE THE PET AS MUCH AS YOUR PARTNER. Oh dear I feel you pain but for sure I would get rid of it very fast. Its important to note these behaviors long predate our relationship: her parents make it clear she has always had issues with valuing her relationship with dogs above people (she does not like cats, or other animals just dogs). Its way better to put the dog on a leash and walk. In the beginning, she said she will choose her dog over any SO or family member in a heartbeat. I feel your pain. She cages her alk day an pays no attention to her what can i do. Especially when they keep it up because they arent satisfied! They were very terrified. If you have your talk and he still dismisses your POV, then drastic steps may be in order. Myself and my partner have been in a relationship for just over a year. You and your partner made a promise to love each other not to split for a freaking animal. Me and my partner have been together for a year, I have a small dog (puggle) and he has a large dog (Rhodesian Ridgeback) its a rescue dog. Chat with your vet: You need to ensure if there are any health-related issues going on here. We now have an 11 month old and I am afraid he will be the next victim. I sit there trying to enjoy dinner while watching her dog on the couch hovering over her plate! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Dont let them play without your supervision. He will not compromise at all on this issue. Dogs are dogs , they should take commands, listen and respect their position and Of course the owner needs to be respectful in their roll as well. Dogs shouldnt be kept in cruelty but neither should humans or your children for you dogs sake. Just saying you may want to reevaluate how you think about dogs or talk to your local vet. I sleep on the sofa. The dog barks heavily so much Day and night without change. I limit the amount of time that I see one of my dear friends because I leave her home covered in animal fur. Everything about her dog does nothing short of threaten to blow my fuse. I see no solution to this and feel I must learn to accept the deep sadness in my heart for the sake of my marriage. People so often posit their relationships with their pets on nothing beyond feel good feelings they get from the pet being fully dependent upon them, when they would never accept that type of arrangement with another human being. I really do believe that people who treat there dogs like humans need counseling. Wow, I can only imagine the nice doggy aroma in there, loloh my god! Yes I have discussed this with him but it doesnt really go anywhere because he gets defensive every time I bring up anything about his child. Ive actually stopped sleeping in the same bed because Fido hogs up so much of the bed that I cant ever get comfortable, so Im now sleeping in the 2nd bedroom while my boyfriend and the dog sleep together! You have to find conpromise. We cant agree on where the dog can sleep, how much the dog can stay inside or even how much food to give the dog. But since we brought her home, I have had doubts and regretted it. I am engaged and although I have known my fianc has never cared for inside dogs, he has always tolerated them even at their most annoying times. Fortunately I dont have that issue. we moved in together after we got married and the cat came too. I find I get up in the morning and I am happy. He was darn right nasty to her most times. The dog has serious issues!! They need to sleep by themselves and be trained. Honestly, Logan had great points about talking and compromising with your SO in order to have a relationship that benefits everyone (including your dog). Yes he takes him outside some. She is great with people, kids and other dogs never shows aggression or anything but only towards him in these situations. Supervising: You need to take the responsibility to supervise your kids and watch all the time not to play with the dog until your dog trainer recommends doing so. As I feel she does not care for it properly and number 1, it is not my pet and when I started caring for the dog she completely quit and the dog was becoming my responsibility. I cant tolerate this dog anymore but I know it will break my husbands heart. The day I received an ultimatum about my dogs is the day my SO would be hitting the road. So, a hardwood floor is a nice alternative for the carpeted floor, and it can provide remedies for the majority of his worries. Read my story and youll see what I mean. He is a wonderful husband and father to our two kiddos, I love him dearly, but this is important to me at a level that I dont think he understands. He thinks his dog is just fine. I said absolutely no dogs in the bedroom or bathroom. I did also tell him about this website and that Im not alone feeling like this, I think that helped him see things from my perspective as well. So I guess you believe that marriage was also developed by the patriarchy to get people to submit then too? Going to dog training as a couple (although the dog owner should pay for it, lol) is a priceless experience and will change your life. Hopefully it last in the long run because whining is one of my pet peeves and bothers me to the core. For some reason it finally got through to him and said he was sorry for everything that has happened and told me that at the end of the day I am more important than a dog and that he never wanted me to feel alone. Dog urinates on my bed which I dont sleep in anymore. I truly dislike it when people amphorize pets into human beings. But I stand by my word through thick or thin, and that was not something I was taught in my home. I have asked my parents if they wish to foster my baby as i know he will be happy there provided That theyv always treated our dogs like kids. If you have a high-energy canine friend that seeks numerous amount of exercises on a daily basis, with or without intention, it will play rough with your kids. But its not the poor canines fault that the masses have chosen to objectify the loyal animal forgetting this is a living creature not a fad. In this process, its almost like these people lose the appreciation (or ability) for having a healthy relationship with a human being later on. He asked me to just become okay with fur. I also told him that we are never close like we used to be, that instead of reaching for me, you reach for the dog. I questioned myself as a woman. So, I really recommend doing so. I have to disagree. They are animals. But he doesnt care. Give them there own bed!!! Aggressiveness when it comes to attention? I want nothing to do with dogs. If my boyfriend catches him doing that he will go stomp his feet at beau and yell at him telling him to go play. Its an obsession. Ive never trained a dog, (I am more of a cat person) and I had no idea how much attention and supervision a puppy needs. My boyfriend and I recently (within the past 3 years) bought a home and our first Dog (a rescue) shortly after, my mother fell in love with her, she got one of her own. Although many people love dogs, not everyone does. Well now my boyfriend is fed up & told me that the cats have only two places in the house. Either train this dog for its own benefit as well as Ours or one of us goes and thats so crazy to me when Im only asking to have a normal human bed dinner table and living area. I slept over there this past weekend and probably got 3 hours of sleep because of him. Before your dog starts to regress and starts pooping and peeing in the house. Again the constant peeing and pooping comes from lack of obedience training, anxiety, fear etc. The relationship is still really new and at least Im trying. We have talked and i told him why but he just doesnt understand why i cant just love her (his dog). heaven forbid you eat something !! After all, when on walks the dogs sniff at everything and my wife cuddles her dogs and doesnt always wash her hands or face afterwards. For the most part, my partner is a wonderful and loving person. My husband gets upset with me for yelling at the dog when he snarls at me and it drives me crazy! All rights reserved. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. But sometimes he doesnt even hug or cuddle with me so Im get upset that they dogs get more loving than I do. Pancho wont eat his own food, but growls and is very aggressive and it causes a big stink. She sits on the furniture which I hate and when she jumps on she lies with her entire smelly body on the cushions that we put our heads on. Ill be moving out tomorrow. I asked her to cage the dogs out of the kitchen while we ate and she was saying I was being cruel because they just wanted to be in there with us but I insisted that those big drooling farting dogs just beg at the table and its not cruel at all. I love bigger dogsand a lab is a great family dog. The toys and bed Ive replaced with my own money. I use to say to those around me, Looks like Buffy decided to go to bed. Period! He goes back to the other house he would love them. I could never get used to those gross drooly dogs but tried a relationship with a dog but it just doesnt work. And not having enough time is a rubbish excuse. How did you end up going with Beau? If you too have ended a relationship because your partner didn't love your pets, you're not alone. My boyfriend cant stand me saying anything either..TODAY the freakin thing jumped up on my rocking chair & it was rubbing itself all over it. I dislike this dogs disposition but I can deal with that. Beau never has accidents and is probably the most problem free dog I have ever owned. I mean granted its a dog vs partner. Remove the dog from your house. Im no longer going through it thank goodness and it was a lesson learned of what to look out for in the dating world. The dog can then help you raise the kids, pay the bills, do chores etc. Im trying to figure out what to do. Because my GF allows it now all people must suffer. Its sooo disturbing! She stays in the basement due to hip dysplasia. Basically, a life with this man and his dogs will mean not having my own needs met, and being second-place beneath the dogs. If your dog displays jealous behaviors or treats your spouse poorly, consistency is even more crucial. I absolutely LOATHE our dog. A muzzle doesnt help either, because my wife hates the stigma attached to dogs with a muzzle on, and she wants people to know what a loveable creature that piece of s*** is. One of the reasons we got her was because she was supposedly good with cats. its almost as high as the bed. Ive really tried bc I feel terrible for him, but then when we finally moved in together he started to guilt me into doing more things for the dog like walking her on a rotating basis with him. All this with the power of love. I guess my advice is to ride it out because its not for forever. I dont get to sleep with my boyfriend and I rarely get to cuddle him or get any love or attention from him because all he ever does is cuddles or hug or kiss the dog. I believe people who let their animals do these things are harbouring their own issues with people and secretly enjoying the pretend power their out of control mutts are giving them. My boyfriends dog is the most needy piece of crap. The next time I walked in, the dog was on the far right end of the sofa. So, puzzle toys are an excellent way to ease the boredom in dogs, especially in puppies. He was ok with both of them but hates my new dog, who is a sweetheart and the same breed as the other two. I really felt the love from them there. Dont want any anymore however, too much hassle! I bought a cage and put him in it at night. I will wait untill the dog dies and then he sells that house and we get our own place together and NO DOGS!!! Im sorry for all that youve gone through and are going through now. Either way, that puppy probably should find a new home. My wife has a bed for him set up in the shower because since he suffers from extreme anxiety, she said that is his safe place. I LOVE animals, have always had them. One time she pooped on my daughters bed near her pillow. My bf could not bear to have Fido sleep on the floor, so now I have my own separate bedroom on the other side of the house. It violates their conscience. Im not sure what to believe. Its so depressing to me this is not what I want in my life, or in my relationship. I hope he decides to respect you and comprise. I am seeing my partner for two years now and convinced Im loved more than her dog. So then I bought baby gates and pads to block off a big area and she could use the pads. As time goes on I thought I may get used to it as I force myself to accept things. Hit the toilet and if you dont by accudent, clean it up. Im so pissed I want to take my dog and move out! The reason why I want to mention this solution is that lack of exercise could lead to so many troubles, making your husband/boyfriend trying to rehome the dog for the purpose of escape from the problem. Cannot grasp the concept of an animal being put before a human !!!! Funny how they excepted us with our pets and now that things got more serious they want to change our situation. I would simply say if the dog stays outside it shouldnt be an issue for you. Im worn out and tired. Scenario: Met and married my partner with the understanding that he cares for a dependent brother who has not worked through psychosomatic issues. I think my jaw dropped when I read this because I thought I might have written it in my sleep! What bothers me is that she jumps up on you all the time, she follows him around 24/7, and she whines and snores consistently. I seriously believe its a sort of mental illness that needs to be addressed! Fine. He rarely listens to my fianc. Dogs are often food motivated and will cling to the person who feeds it. Im frustrated with the urination problem. To do otherwise either shows that your thinking isnt healthy, that your relationship isnt healthy. This dog I have runs Outd lives. A poster above said humans are not naturally monogamous. So, he suddenly loves her? I didnt go back & re-read for spelling, etc so please forgive any grammatical mistakes. They arent children or babies. Our fighting is bad parenting in front of the dogs and we cant continue like this. At first she was very welcomed and loved by me and my sons. First, to answer your question. From the beginning, Mango slept in our bedwhether between us or just near me. A pet is still an animal!!! Id guess the number is zero. She said she would compromise and not let the dog on human spaces. I am now sleeping on the couch. Every single day I cringe coming home to a smelly, hairy home. Now, I like dogs (smaller ones) and all but holy cow, within reason! There are enough responses here that a website for dog widows/widowers seems viable: I dont think there is anything. So, in 1-5 years shes down to one dog and 3-7 years, shell have none. Im allergic, he smells up the house, he is defiant and disobedient especially when my partner is around why should I have to put up with discomfort? I think it is going to work perfectly. It is not even possible to give them as much attention as they want! Someone may like pets, and someone may not. My husband was a traveler and barely home so he insisted I get a cat(I am a cat lover, he is a dog lover). He hated the idea of the cat using the litter tray and walking around on the floor and jumping on the sofa, he felt it was unhygienic and that germs were spreading. Get it together. Monitor the relationship without being openly antagonistic to her boyfriend, who may try to control and ultimately eliminate your daughter's access to you: I have a Boston terrier her name is Bailey I have had her for about 5 years.. Its not about choosing a dog over someone, its about being too different. Unlike your family your dog never disagrees with you, no matter how wrong you are, because it has no idea what you are talking about. He claimed to have loved them but his version of a pet and mine are very different and now ive fallen pregnant hes turned into a control freak and if my dogs are within an inch of him he gets annoyed. For reference, my garden is my sanctuary and my one place I can go to relax. There is no way you need to treat an animal like that. Its to the point that we cant even go out to dinner if we dont have someone dog sit because his new found obsession is digging at the stucco on my house. He had me promise that I would train a new one as well as I did my last. He wont take the thing to the vet, no matter what! Your SO really needs to put your needs first and either give the cat away to a good home or put it out as you mentioned. It breaks my heart that your husband is being careless and not helping you or his dog. Ive been with my fiance for two years. I will take her out to walk for 30 minutes, come inside and she uses the bathroom all over the house. He wants her to sleep in the bed with us but she wakes me up every night pulling my cover so I get up and sleep on the couch. Id say if he leaves: good riddance!! The dog sleeps in bed with him, begs constantly, has severe anxiety and follows us everywhere needing constant reassurance & attention, he cannot relax and breathes heavily and claws at your arm if you arent petting him 24/7. I also have to watch them when hes out of town which is several times a year. also to those who hate pets what not. I wanted to give people here a here a different outlook about pets, Chihuahuas and perhaps love itself. My spouse allows her to do all of this and gets angry when I bring the problem up. He refuses to go anywhere the dog cant have full reign of. This is getting out of control & is affecting our intamacy & having a healty happy relationship. Yet he insisted on us dating. Then I knew another little personality would enter my life to train, love, and cherish while they were with me. Youd put an animal above a marriage? Here it is at 4 in the morning and Beau just got up out of his bed for some reason and his nails were clicking on the hardwood floor. Hes sometimes licking feet and legs and she finds it gross but I think hes just trying to show love. And she was sleeping under the covers in the bed with him. We just recently moved into a rental and my dog is now living with us full time. I am sorry! Later I said, hed save me and blame me for the dog dying. I left and havent regretted it. We got our dog after we were married, and the reason its worked is because weve been on the same page regarding the boundaries set. I am an absolute animal person and then I learned the hard way that this dog has MAJOR separation anxiety. You deserve love, caring, respect, loyalty. Unfortunately the media we expose ourselves to does not always promote reality. The fact is, this is really obvious regarding why does your husband/boyfriend wanna do this. Why? If I discipline the dog I am scowled at!! My ex and I would walk with her bulldogs and people driving by would look and smile. As for your other issue, this is something that will require a serious heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Its always been my choice to let that happen, as I was single at the time of getting him. My god the hair. Now he seems to be taking aim at my pet friends, starting with my 2 dogs, who actually like him, but hes decided that they dont like him since, being mini Australian Shepherds, theyve kind of bonded to me (momma) because I feed and care for them, as its too much trouble for him to do so. Some of you people are obsessive over your dogs and just plain silly if your willing to throw a relationship away because of dogs. I must mention that I was also caretaker for my mom and dad. Me and my partner have been together for nine years and I relocated to his country in order to live with him. (2012, January 11). Nessa, the dog nipping at my kid would have been the last straw. So I am going to therapy for grief as I am having a tough time handling that. Try offering a compromise, such as a sleeper sofa or second bed where the dog is allowed, and she can sleep there with it if she wants to now and then (and preferably not when you guys are not getting along) If she comes back with a high and mighty attitude, you may want to consider dating a person who is better able to grasp that human relationships should take priority over a pet. Besides she was using those back legs to get into it and was dragging herself out of it. What about my feelings. Pip I agree when the dogs gone what then? One of them is very dominant and a bully to the other one, most of the time, which can be very frustrating. Its better to keep him in a place where easily cleanable. I have told him I dont like her sleeping in our room because she pees in her bed sometimes and I want my room to be clean, but he feels guilty that shes alone at night. Our brains are capable of complex thought and emotion! The comment left by Jane I can relate to the most. I am so glad I stumbled across this forum because its the only place Ive found people whose experiences are most similar to mine. I cant believe we are having problems over a dog :(. Her mother left yesterday and guess whats still in my home. Anyway, fast forward to this last girlfriend. I get so frustrated at people who think animals deserve better treatment than people. We had discussed very thoroughly prior to living together that the house will need to be cleaned often and upkept to minimize as much as possible the hair. But he says its just the breed and totally dismisses my feelings. Basically, she made a conscious choice to choose the dog and the current state of affairs over me. 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