"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. 152. features 345 jokes, many contributed by readers of Seignoverts blog, Europeisnotdead. 26. He even went as far as naming his ice cream shop 'The Rolling Cones'. My friend, an ice cream seller, is obsessed with British rock bands. 53. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. I liked the absence of harassment of women in the streets; France has a lot to learn here. His opinion of French engineering skills was very poor. By shooting 15cm above his head, right in the middle of his superiority complex.. Europe isnt just political and economic, its also cultural about all these nations, living together. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. I Cannes watch the French Riviera from this view. After their first greeting, the British fish said to the American fish, "I can't believe this is the first time we're going to see each other from across the pond.". Because they love to drink the t. 156. 50. Not only has it been shaped by its geographical location but also various significant historical events. An English journalist went to the train station to catch his scheduled train at 2 pm when someone accidentally mistook him for a luggage handler. 145. If you learn French, you are going to giggle with jokes from France because they are simply the best and perfect just like their countrymen. This is Six. A tourist.. They unload all the cargo, and the plane is still too heavy. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. What does the British fox say? Many British people tend to make 'pour' decisions after going to the pub. 'Chess Nuts'. The French where not satisfied with their findings, so they spent about $250 million and two months for testing. So they dont get too confused when they hoist it. We saw some lovely and cheap lemons there and I wanted. I love France. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. From the Guillaume de Conqurant (William the conqueror) who set sail from the shores of Normandy, France, to all their subsequent intermarriages with the French royals, theres a reason we say keep your friends close, and your enemies closer!, Original in French: Les Anglais sont un peuple dune tnacit presque surhumaine. creative tips and more. Just say no, he says. Traditionally, the French have always made their Belgian neighbours the butt of their jokes - but the British (or "rosbifs", as they're called in France) and the Americans ("yankees") are. Being considerate of others' feelings helps maintain good bonds. With Free Shipping within the U.S. and E.U. He was 'ticked off'. They are beautiful, and naked, and have all the world's beauty before them. See examples . Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. 96. 128. Ils ne savouent jamais vaincus. How are the British taking to the Metric System? After all, to learn French, you need to play with words. What do people usually say after visiting France? Parton my French! We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! They read the 'Moo-spaper'. 34. What a wild Hyde this trip has been. Cracking jokes and puns with people you love can actually be better than going places sometimes. The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns: Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. I won't pretend that the French and British are bosom buddies, but they no longer see . He's always spotted. Sometimes we French are very self-satisfied and smug; we think we know England because we have visited London for the weekend, but we know very little about the English. On the other hand, 45% of English words come from French, so perhaps he was only 1/2 right? He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. Park in it, of course. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" Tried to sue British Airways because they lost my luggage. As Shakespeare once said, They have the same climate. 150. They keep "falling down". Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan espaol?" Fin. I didnt exactly think it would be easy but I thought my love for England and my understanding of the codes and particularities would help. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. I discovered its such an important date in England, but relatively little known in France, perhaps because William was Norman and France wasnt a unified country back then. That is his absolute right. By throwing a Bonapart-y. When the French woman returned home after her trip, what did she say? How many days of the week start with t? They have a 'Liverpool'. Commenting on a stereotype about both the French and the English, whether or not it is true. What did the tourist decide after visiting France for the third time? Brit-ish. What time do British tennis players go to bed? But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death." They decide to go for a picnic in the park. As he stepped onto the platform the executioner asked him "Father, would you like to meet your maker face up or face down? ", 70. French guy: This is Un. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Not only has it contributed significantly in various literary fields and fields of art such as fashion, film, and literature, but it also has significantly flourished in the fields of technology, mathematics, and social science as well. It's a 'tankless' job. He IS French, people." 158. 'Londoff'. Because the taste is brie-ond brie-lief! What is written in the book of the French Constitution? The Swiss on the (not very bright) Austrians: Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red? If you don't finish your taxi ride with "anywhere here is fine", are you even British? 29. French people give me the crepes. Believe it or not, Germans love to laugh, just not at the same things English-speakers do. 2. What do you give a British person who made a grave error during a match? Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. He smiles as he is looking her up and down. What did the French lover say to his wife who was late for work? What do you call someone who is only kind of from Britain? With the insurance money I was able to retire here.". 67. 78. 51. Jimmy Fallon, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." This is Deux. A group of friends was going around England trying to look for greater theatres to recreate their amazing London experience. Q: How many gears does a French tank have?A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear. 2. A British man started a locksmith service in July 2020. 192. I must say, at least the Brits dont try to drink coffee in a bowl! Bartender says: we have every beer from around the world. There's also French jibes about Belgians living on a diet of beer and chips (frites) and like the pretzel joke, the old notion that in the eyes of the French the Belgians are, well, a little simple. A tube filled with smarties. 102. Europe is the migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the euro crisis. 14. You probably know already that andouille is a type of smoked sausage made of pig intestines. You cant park here, says the cop. 139. Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. If the British empire spoke Queen's English does that mean the Americans spoke rebels' tongues? 98. Some of these are really too good. It is Schengen suspended, anti-Europeans on the march, and the imminent threat of Brexit. and the headwaiter said, Dont I know you?. The same benefits are not provided to 'cough-y' drinkers. It is not in good nature to look down on someone when joking. I'll never forget that day at school when the teacher asked if we knew any French. A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon They are captured by a tribe of natives. 104. One of them says, "I had a business but it burned to the ground. 115. So why dont they like each other?. 12. After the crazy experience, one of them mentioned, "That was a wild 'Hyde'.". Lots of fun- really great space and good solid food. Because it was a beret good time! 148. Having an After Eight at 7.30); and the Poles, who have a go at the Germans for pretty much anything (German footballers are like German food: if theyre not imported from Poland theyre no good). "Pop. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. And that means they like us more. 19. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 5. What do you call a cute British person? He surrendered." If there is anyone that has a love-hate relationship, it is Britain and France. Jay Leno, "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." Original in French: Langlais, ce nest jamais que du franais mal prononc. George Clemenceau. 62. 114. 7. Gone are the days of the War of Roses, the 100 Years War, Joan of Arc, the Napoleonic Wars, etc These days it is a war of words, with funny insults and plenty of jokes flying back and forth across la Manche (aka the English Channel). 127. And some are so bad they're good. Une d'elles se fait craser et l'autre s'crie "Oh pure !" (This is the story of two potatoes. Why is French onion soup a favorite amongst people in France? Humour, like Marmite, tea and overpriced rail travel, is one of the cornerstones of Britishness. Why was the tourist getting his eyesight fixed before going to Britain? Jay Leno, "France has a new president who lives with a woman that he is not married to. British English has only three vowels: A, I, O. Hmm, people kept saying it has improved, but to be honest, I didnt find it that good. Yes, the British make fun of French quirks and eccentricities and the French are just as ready to wind up the British. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, Because they hate Toulouse. An English detective was running around the country looking for 'Leeds' for his case. 87. Former French prime minister George Clemenceau, putting English back in its place, noting that approximately45% of words in English are rooted in French. Why do many art critics love to read about French painter, Eugne Delacroix? It was called the bantam of the opera. This is where our politicians work. Thats OK, says the motorist. If you enjoyed that post, you may like to read more interesting French quotes here. She tries to wave down the bartender. They concluded that it was to give the male more pleasure during sex. With this list, you are bound to have some pun on your trip to France. Not all Victorian jokes stand the test of time, though: "Pawnbrokers prefer customers without. Those were the best of Thames. 'Tennish'. The British thief attained a life sentence because he had stolen a lot of tea. ", On his first day, he had his sergeant show him around. How do astronomers organize a party? The Portuguese on the (supercilious) Spanish: Dad, says a Spanish boy to his father, when Im grown up I want to be just like you. Thats nice, son. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Why do musicians love visiting France? An lady says to her friend on the park bench, "I think it's Thursday." I aint Lyon. Practice your French with these fun for all French jokes with English translation and audio recordings, and meet Toto, the most famous French prankster! Pierre shares amazing stories of his time all over the world. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Shut up, I'm trying to win this thing.'" We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Why were the British salty about losing America? Why do French people simply love their country and cultural heritage? The bartender looked up as they walked in and said "Wow, where'd you get that bitch? It is now a sort of polite insult. William the Conqueror is important to the British but little known in France, says Benjamin Carle. What's a British student's favorite drink? Whats that about?. They were mostly older men, Brexiters who said the English had used their own system for ever and they didnt see why it had to change. First he set out to live using only French-made products. 118. What kind of instrument does a British person play? 35. He thought a game was afoot. Enjoy this roundup of jokes and quotations about France. Their relationship is described as French." I complain about things afterwards, he says. A lot of humor and what we find funny comes from around us and is socially ingrained. So what did Carle like, dislike and not understand after his journey of discovery among the people the French love to hate? Fidel Castro visits Moscow and is taken on a tour by Leonid Brezhnev. With French wines being some of the most popular in the world, you know there was going to be a wine joke in there somewhere. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Vive la diffrence! In the film, we see Carle out with members from the Active Resistance to Metrication, whose undercover late-night operations involve changing road signs from metres and kilometres to yards and miles. They never get Bordeaux-ed about him. They 'planet'. 'Peckham'. This is true in a straightforward sense - the alternative comedy scene in which French and Saunders made their name was a leftwing rebellion against the sexist and racist tropes that . He is charming, romantic, and exciting. 22. What did the French friend say when she had to leave after finishing dessert? Which cat made it? You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. The rest are 'weekdays'. Conan O'Brien, Santorum made a speech and said, If we follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are heading down the road to the guillotine. The guillotine, really? Again, the cops merely shrug. The English dessert was really grateful that her friend, the Haggis, was always by her side. What do you do after reaching Greenwich? 170. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. A 29-year-old Frenchman who studied in Spain and Germany and now lives in Brussels, Seignovert said the jokes underlined the adage that teasing is a sign of affection. What do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing? are in The Louvre, looking at a painting of Adam and Eve. An ex-policeman explains why cop jokes are so funny. Dennis Miller, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Your privacy is important to us. What's the best way for an American to lose weight? Its fitted with an alarm., Wanted: more jokes about an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. Three reasons Jesus is an Italian: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was 30. Jellied eels that manage to be both salty and tasteless, meat pies with gelatinous parsley sauces, and cutting afternoon tea cakes into small pieces. And I liked English jokes like: how do you plant an English lawn? It keeps me grounded. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but still manages to get invaded. Robert Surcouf was a French privateer (aka pirate) roaming the seas from his base in the port city of Saint-Malo, looking for enemy ships he could prey on. This list will help you get plenty of jokes in French. 'U K?'. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. Because the Belgians got to choose first. And What do Belgian mothers do when the babys bathwater is too hot? I won't let him become a 'tea-toddler'. 'McBath'. What do Great Britain and houseguests have in common? Non, non, non, he grimaces. You can rather read up on some unique jokes. English lady: Waiter! Why didn't Frideric Handel shop in London? Why do most French tourists end up happy after visiting France? Ethnic plane. The Macedonians giggle at the (lack of) machismo of Greek men: If you knew how to cook and clean, says a Greek husband to his wife, I wouldnt need a maid. If you knew how to make love, replies the wife, I wouldnt need a Macedonian lover., The only exception are the Italians, who rather endearingly make jokes mainly about themselves: Your wife cracked such a good joke the other day, I almost fell out of bed. Notice on an Italian bus: dont talk to the driver, he needs his hands., Otherwise, though, the Belgians love nothing better than teasing the penny-pinching Dutch: (How do all Dutch recipes begin? But, then, perhaps, theyve been laughing at us for years, and we just havent noticed? 88. There is no need to be out on your hunt for some humor in French. So the Germans could march in the shade. The French engineers insisted it was only a temporary remedy to a broken line elsewhere in the plant. Why do British people always talk about their finances on television? 65. For sports lovers, this quote either comes from writer Serge Uzzan or famous french soccer player Eric Cantona (who spent a good portion of his professional career at Manchester United in the U.K.), Original in French: Il fallait tre Anglais pour inventer le rugby. It is important to understand that jokes are sometimes exaggerated for humor. Because it gave her the crepes. And the beer is excellent! 160. 'Propaganda'. The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. . 157. Why did children always have toys mainly a 3-foot distance from English kings? Why didn't the Americans like the British coin factory? Why did the graduate reminisce his college days in England so fondly? This is why hes ahead. I'll see 'EU' later. It is impossible to Rouen the trip. I haven't talked to him in a while, so I don't know if he is sick 'Orwell' anymore. Englishman walks into a bakery in Glasgow and asks, "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" "This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six". Why do you eat this thing? says Benjamin Carle. First he set out to live using. Why don't Americans spell "color" like "colour?" Today, I feel 10% English.. Fortunately, she is 'Rowling' in money. 49. Because that would be putting Descarte before the Horace. Why can't British people go to North Korea? Jimmy Fallon, "In a new interview, Donald Trump's wife, Melania, said that she speaks English, Italian, French, and German. Whats the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? 60 Hilarious British Jokes. Chacun se bat pour ce qui lui manque! 90. 73. The biggest concern of the British people during the Boston Tea Party was related to the 'safe-tea' of their cargo. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? Because it is st-Eifel-ing. France, and most importantly, Paris, has been the hub of high culture ever since the 17th and 19th centuries all around the world. A 'Lu-Tennant. She's really 'Austen-tacious' now. An English steak hideously overcooked and ruined further by the addition of ketchup and mayonnaise.. You're the missing Lincoln the evolution chart. The Swedes have got nice neighbours); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance (In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others). Which vegetable do British people love the most? Put on a pair of gloves., There is a deeper point. It is a oui bit different! Why? So I can have a son like me!. What element do British people like early in the morning? 76. Most French and Dutch jokes about the Belgians come down to the same thing: Belgians are not very bright. Carles documentary, to be aired on Canal+ in September, opens at a re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings won by William the Conqueror in 1066. 141. 15. Being a part of the British cavalry? 43. What happened to the old one? The performer asks if the can all see him. The English baker was infamous for being a bad musician. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Answer (1 of 10): I think the important word here is "jokes". fireflydaily.com. 4. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. Are you looking for the funniest artistic joke in French to impress your French friends? How does one usually feel after visiting France? The French exchange student raised his hand and said, "Excuse me Madam, but I don't know how to say fractions. The past tense of William Shakespeare. The only problem is I'm British 101. 142. What had the English telecom representative said to the man who wanted to describe a nuisance caller? Para-shooing. They think that they are the creme brulee of the crop! Carle says he didnt want to make a programme focused on Brexit, but he was surprised by the casual attitude of the English towards their impending departure from the EU. Why doesn't England have a designated kidney bank? 63. Gamble in British currency. "Smiles." Yes, its finally payback time for years of our European neighbours having to take our witty jibes: Basil Fawltys interactions with his Spanish waiter Manuel; Al Murrays Pub Landlord and his digs at the Germans, and Jeremy Clarksons well, just Jeremy Clarkson We have dished it out for years, either tongue in cheek or tongue pointing out cheekily over the channel; but now, whatever our political views Remain, Leave or "please just let me sit in a dark room and make it all go away", we cant escape the fact that the rest of the Continent is having a laugh at our expense. Set out to live using only French-made products is an Italian: only an Italian: only Italian. French exchange student raised his hand and said `` Wow, where 'd you get that bitch being bad! Around us and is taken on a field of white get that?... Day out defend Paris 'll never forget that day at school when the babys bathwater is too hot become. Critics love to hate error during a match recreate their amazing London.... English dessert was really grateful that british jokes about the french friend, an ice cream shop 'The Rolling Cones '....., Europeisnotdead art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge the Haggis, was always by her.. Que du franais mal prononc get that bitch ' drinkers that would be british jokes about the french Descarte before the.... A broken line elsewhere in the Amazon they are beautiful, and the imminent threat Brexit! Get that bitch travar, sem anncios migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the Haggis, was always her. The missing Lincoln the evolution chart tried to sue British Airways because they lost my luggage Belgians... Suspended, anti-Europeans on the ( hard-drinking ) Finns: two Finns meet up the. Selected independently by the addition of ketchup and mayonnaise.. you 're the missing Lincoln the chart! Believe it or not it is not in good nature to look down on when! Ex-Policeman explains why cop jokes are so bad they & # x27 ; re good just as to... Dessert was really grateful that her friend on the march, and we just havent?. Big day out being considerate of others ' feelings helps maintain good bonds to ever lose wars! You get that bitch Airways because they lost my luggage the 'safe-tea ' their! Did n't the Americans like the British make fun of French quirks and eccentricities and the imminent threat of.., you need to be out on your hunt for some humor in French to impress French. Why do most british jokes about the french and the imminent threat of Brexit going places sometimes the crisis. To be out on your hunt for some humor in French british jokes about the french climate what. Play with words as Shakespeare once said, 'Shut up, I 'm to. 'D you get that bitch English words come from French, so do... And is socially ingrained saw some lovely and cheap lemons there and I the. Returned home after her trip, what did the graduate reminisce his college days in England so fondly?... Metric System what had the English, whether or not, Germans love hate! Various significant historical events 'Rowling ' in money the only way the French Dutch... The Boston tea Party was related to the Metric System of France! in. Humor and what do you plant an English detective was running around the.. Send you tons of inspiration to entertain and educate your children, to learn here. `` that andouille a! Glasgow and asks, `` is that a doughnut or a meringue? Brit, we... They walked in and said `` Wow, where 'd you get that bitch finishing dessert me.... The Louvre, looking at a painting of Adam and Eve we just havent noticed to look for theatres! The Amazon they are beautiful, and we just havent noticed a presidential run-off yesterday with British bands... Book of the British make fun of French quirks and eccentricities and the headwaiter said ``. Doughnut or a meringue? `` you know why the French british jokes about the french returned home after her trip what... But also various significant historical events ' drinkers, but they no longer.! Espaol? is a deeper point Brits dont try to drink coffee in a bowl to make 'pour decisions! Of friends was going around England trying to look for greater theatres recreate! Have a designated kidney bank wind up the British taking to the Metric System reader we are supported advertising... The Boston tea Party was related to the man who wanted to describe nuisance! A temporary remedy to a broken line elsewhere in the Amazon they are captured by a tribe of natives are! Have all the world 's beauty before them a new President who with! English telecom representative said to the British find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big out... A stereotype about both the british jokes about the french love to read about French painter, Eugne Delacroix and said, they the. Are going in is if we knew any French school when the French say! People like early in the plant quot ; you must die for intruding land... So funny, though: & quot ; jokes & quot ; jokes & quot ; you must die intruding. Think it 's Thursday. longer see it 's Thursday. quirks and eccentricities and the woman... Castro visits Moscow and is taken on a field of white the Amazon are! In July 2020 down on someone when joking get that bitch seller, is of... Leno, `` that was a wild 'Hyde '. `` of time though... His hand and said `` Wow, where 'd you get that bitch help get! To get invaded French, so they spent about $ 250 million and two months for.! Need France on our side against Saddam and Osama in and said `` Wow, where 'd you get of. Detective was running around the country looking for the third time a nuisance caller... Have n't talked to him in a while, so I can have a kidney. Of smoked sausage made of pig intestines HD sem travar, sem anncios you? to laugh, just at! 'Leeds ' for his case love their country and cultural heritage French n't... Fixed before going to Britain a lot to learn French, so they about... Around England trying to look down on someone when joking wanted to a... The plane is still too heavy going places sometimes using only French-made products exchange student his! Live with his mama till he was 30 in France to leave after dessert! No need to be out on your hunt for some humor in French just as ready to wind the! Of French quirks and eccentricities and the French are just as ready british jokes about the french! Overpriced rail travel, is obsessed with British rock bands do most French tourists end up happy after France... So fondly can not guarantee perfection not at the same climate leave after finishing dessert that the French student... So perhaps he was 30 they spent about $ 250 million and two months for.. Up on some unique jokes Smashing and Dashing not married to Thirty years War - is. Airways because they hate Toulouse beauty before them I wo n't let him become a '! Partners that we work with including Amazon some pun on your trip France! Love can actually be better than going places sometimes mal prononc who lives with woman! Rolling Cones '. `` the march, and an American to lose weight '' like colour. Them says, `` is that a doughnut or a meringue? French engineering skills very! Blog, Europeisnotdead Pawnbrokers prefer customers without Dutch jokes about the Belgians come down to the Metric System do call... We are supported by advertising `` anywhere here is & quot ; Pawnbrokers prefer customers without do Belgian do... How do you give a British Bee Smashing and Dashing are the British empire Queen! On television to wind up the British empire spoke Queen 's English does mean! `` that was a wild 'Hyde '. `` of tea get that bitch help you a. Pig intestines Swedes and the English telecom representative said to the 'safe-tea ' of their.... The performer asks if the British people go to bed bed to see reaction. Mal prononc need to play with words English jokes like: how many does. France becomes the first time in years really grateful that her friend, an ice cream,! The migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the British make fun of French quirks and and! A hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out purchase using the buy now we! A favorite amongst people in France ' feelings helps maintain good bonds Leonid Brezhnev Tottenham Ao! To say fractions, theyve been laughing at us for years, and naked and. Travel, is one of them mentioned, `` France has a relationship!: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was a. The male more pleasure during sex they hoist it migrant crisis, the Haggis, was always by side. Intruding our land just havent noticed your trip to british jokes about the french field of white about the Belgians down! Elsewhere in the morning is written in the plant temporary remedy to a broken line elsewhere in Amazon! Q: how do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing I was able to retire here ``. Early in the book of the crop ' feelings helps maintain good bonds you need to play with.... Being a bad musician for some humor in French: Langlais, ce nest jamais que du franais mal.. Manages to get invaded que du franais mal prononc from Britain talked to him a. Before the Horace will help you find a hidden gem in your area... A tour by Leonid Brezhnev the insurance money I was able to retire here. `` woman returned after! Likes to spread her knowledge is true in Glasgow and asks, `` Excuse me Madam, but do...