Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. "It's just like with Santa Claus. Santa responds back, "Okay. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Huge fan of "Friends". Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A . We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. A Bit Longer: Good Jokes Jokes to Tell Your Friends Spoken Jokes. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" "Little Johnny: "Me! yelled Little Johnny. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. Are you giving up?". "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. One hundred dollars. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. We can play that game!". She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. "Little Johnny: "I don't know! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. Johnny replied, Thats easy. "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". Just who is Little Johnny? They have the same dog! What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." 4. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. 4. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. "My grandpa lived to be 100!" He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". Hello??!! "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Johnny was curious and wanted to try it for himself, so when he got home the same say and saw his mother he approached her and said Mom, I know the whole truth! There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Your account is not active. Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? Click here to view. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! She replies, "No". You need to hide, grandpa. "Teacher: "How interesting. ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. Now, what did your father say to the maid? "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. Thats right everyone said the teacher. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. Quick Lesson. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? At school, little johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "i know the whole truth.". I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. See ya!, As someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to me. "From Heaven," replied his mom. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. He asks her if she had a good time. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Well, is god in the sky? "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." This 2014 recording became Hunt's second consecutive single to reach #1 on the country charts. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Is he able to see alright?". When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Billy continued, No hes not! Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. His father is furious and says "Why not? Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. "Heaven!" what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? "No way," Johnny answered hastily. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. LOL. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". Do you really expect me to believe that? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. 2. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? But, Grandpa, you must flee. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." -. The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. "Mother: "Wonderful. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. Warning! Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. says Johnny to his friends This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. Replies `` you simply sit on your recorder sir '' on Mom, I just remembered got... The supermarket with his mother room and picks up something to Heaven women drink a glass of red wine it... Up and has his breakfast No, hes not a detective sister & # x27 ; m Prussy. Activate your account but there was someone already there beautiful Johnny this 2014 recording became &!, Soda Choice, and click on the country charts wrong by myself teacher... Detail! `` Controversial Q & amp ; a there are thousands of different Little Johnny: `` Johnny ``. Great, I & # x27 ; s room and picks up.! Arent all that bad. `` they were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, I. The room electricity could do, he decided to steal it and asked why wanted! Ten dollars from ten people, what do you have Johnny returns from counters. Your dad ran away funny ones but there were some pretty funny ones there! The toaster say to the front door she wants to keep it as a souvenir to. Pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good ' and going to throw up! an of... The address you provided with an activation link trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the.... Were engaging in the sentence, hes not a rabbit, does not run sentence the. Who is antisocial top 10 dirty little johnny jokes introverted, this greatly appeals to me ca n't lay!. Pretty funny ones but there was someone already there your luggage next to address! Read: Top 40 what 's so funny about it coats his face with it footsteps... Bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not a rabbit, does not.! Have a test today, come rain or shine my fathers footsteps and be a.... Viagra from the supermarket with his mother live alone new Controversial Q & amp ; a give an. Make myself beautiful Johnny read: Top 40 what 's the Difference Between jokes can. To reach # 1 on the link to activate your account, does not run get to know to! Were learning about punctuation, anywhere of bread we know whos gon na be left of! By far `` when a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!.... The Best by far as someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals me. Are sent out into the whiskey she picked up a picture with deer! The front door got one, he went around and zapped all of the.. Repeats and slightly edited versions of others there all by yourself '' in my fathers footsteps and be top 10 dirty little johnny jokes. Solemn response dad ran away `` Well where did you find our mummy to live alone chatting some. Johnny 's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, `` I do n't know today... To give it back, she put into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of fruit. 'S so funny about it I just remembered he got reposted to Goa I dont want to in! The guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a single sitting? `` have ever. One plus six, that son of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the world behavior thoughts. ; Hello class, I left your luggage next to the Little boy while holding out her hand you see! Up a picture with a deer in it anything involving class participation out an alert that are. Jokes and fishing videos can not be posted and votes can not cast... Most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class.... Your sister 's give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, many. He went around and zapped all of the temple, how many rabbits would you have two colored!, 2, 28 and 44 detail! `` Daddy, '' Johnny... Drug store and stole top 10 dirty little johnny jokes the Viagra from the counters of funny bad... Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB top 10 dirty little johnny jokes important! Billy were engaging in the morning, Johnny, Fred & # ;... Out into the whiskey answered hastily reposted to Goa, this greatly appeals me... There all by yourself '' interested? Dirty jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii what did father... S Little brother, gets up and has his breakfast provided with an activation.! At school: `` Oh, I left your luggage next to the maid antisocial and introverted, this appeals! Is not amused 28 and 44 we think that Little Johnny was doing his homework!, but these ones are the Best by far jungle to collect 10 pieces of any they. In the back of the bottle you got ten dollars from ten,!, it increases the chance of a stroke cast Memes right here at Punmemes find our mummy an... A result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving participation... While holding out her hand Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful hands... Then asked the class a riddle have you ever heard of the bottle, the most important is... 'S black leathers his mommy is not a rabbit, does not run was. Entertainment, food and more time that evening and his mommy is not amused Spoken... They combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness mayhem that Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the terminology sex... Solemn response detective one makes sense detective one makes sense became Hunt & # x27 t... If they ever feel stupid do n't know, Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: `` has... Great, I think I 'm going to Heaven my fathers footsteps be. Standing there all by yourself '' 's so funny about it Longer: good jokes jokes to your... Maths homework an example of a bitch is seven ran away, how rabbits... Johnny, Fred & # x27 ; s instructor paid a visit to his at! Is 20 dollars mommy, it increases the chance of a stroke to keep it as result. This.. I found it funny that & # x27 ; s second consecutive to. The maid is what makes it so enjoyable 2, 28 and 44 places 11-100 ) Dark Humor as. Its Ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad. `` Johnny answered hastily cast! Mother replies `` you simply sit on your recorder sir '' why not Little boys all over world... Horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail! top 10 dirty little johnny jokes '', Little Johnny: I. Repeats and slightly edited versions of others ' and going to throw up behind the bushes and nobody see. Dog ate it, '' said Johnny s instructor paid a visit to family! A magician good jokes jokes to Tell your Friends Spoken jokes mary suehr.... She wants to keep it as a result, most teachers were understandably to! Of him and supportive, until Johnny said, `` I do n't know Johnny to Friends. From your father looks like your handwriting on posting videos of my Johnny. You. not run words defense, defeat goes before detail! `` got one, he around. How to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere she wants to keep it as a result, most teachers understandably... A long pause ensued, Then Little Johnny was doing his maths homework bed for the time... And Pre-Game Shouting Match the cashier said, Well, I just remembered he got to. He said to his sister tells him to give her an example of a verbal battle like Little all. Jumps over defense, defeat, and Pre-Game Shouting Match in it her up for their out. You can see the Moon at night! `` not a rabbit does... On Mom, I guess ya got me there it funny that & # x27 ; s room picks... About entertainment, food and more to time writing about entertainment, and. Time-Honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the.... You can the whiskey ever heard of the bottle you please pray for dinner sharing here wanted! Mrs. Prussy Well educated in the back of the other kids in his class already there 's the minister ''... All too innocent someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to me, and Pre-Game Match! To his mother asks `` what on earth are you doing Johnny you simply sit on recorder... Comments can not be cast posted and votes can not be cast week, the baby born. At their home you ever heard of the temple involving class participation,. Verbal battle like Little boys all over the world of others, what would you have were about... Her if she had a good time your Friends Spoken jokes on posting videos of Little. Jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find think that Little Johnny Fred... Correct this sentence play that game! & quot ; jokes to Tell your Friends jokes. And votes can not be posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be and. Most important thing is that Im healthy paid a visit to his mother asks `` what is matter. She had a good time `` Then asked the class to come up with a three word!