i come here for the fist time ! However, this is not always the case. It wasn't until then that I paused to think about it. The boy contacting you for more dates clearly indicates his interest in you. So hes either very busy or there is another woman hes wanted more than me?? replied back and asked him how he was. We started off talking about 2x-3x/wk and our conversations just flow; no lags or uncomfortable silences. Are you assuming that those initial contacts are random, chance events? I was recently visiting another city and there was a guy I met there a few months ago, he texted me many times since and asked me to let him know if i was in town. I had started to like him but didn't initiate anything beyond friendship. Answer (1 of 28): Well, a person may like many other people. I am going out with friends, living my life, and I hope when gets back he'll call, text me or email me and we will go out, but he'll have to initate it which lets me know that he really wants to. CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you. "are you advising women to be passive wallflowers until cold-approached by a man? What do you think? Maybe this guy is not super into you, but he wants to be, so he is seeing where things go right now. (I can add I'm not American and we don't have that 'college' experience where people live in dorms - you go to school and attend your lectures, then go home). It feels by that point it would be ok. Andrew, what about the guys these days who try and 'bait' you into chasing them? "I think you are doing it right. I have never been very forward mind you, but if I liked a guy I make effort to invite him stuff and sometimes text him first. In online dating its very important for women to initiate! One week later his friend (who we hung out) approached me on the dating site to ask me out for drinks. Its called subtle signalling. I see him at least one a week at dance practice and we interact quite well. Anyway, I really like him. It would frustrate me that I was doing all the workuntil I realized if I was doing all the work he probably didn't like me. Anyway, regardless of the conditions I would react in the same way: be completely casual and blase. thinks i'm attractive and seems to like my goofy and perky personalityI don't have to play a roleI'm just me and he seems to dig it. Dont worry though if a guy is really into you and wants to get to know you better, then he will make the first step. It contains all the essential nutrients and minerals and thus it can be consumed even when you are not facing any issues with our health.http://www.supplement4us.com/vital-test-extreme/. Until they are practically exclusive? If they need you to initiate, they are either too shy or aren't interested enough. If you've been dating a while, that is. But now I feel that I am detaching. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. I can add that he's European (we're both, from a liberal background) where it's "normal" for people to hook up and then become a couple. This could be because of past relationships where the girl always contacted him first and now it has become a habit for him to wait for her to reach out to him first! So you text can be totally misleading. In fact, you will lose guys across the board and any hope for a stable relationship. (In science!) "Andrew, what are your thought on a woman initiating interest on an online matrimonial site, where everyone's intentions are to find a partner to get married to? It could show my interest but it also is a "friend" request and I want more than that.Thanks! I'm a guy, I'm 30. Well not in the case of a diet supplement with little or no fat are advised not to try it. Intellectual intercourse!Name is Genee, btw (Site will only allow me to post as anonymous?). While the Venn diagram's nice, it's grossly oversimplified. Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Hahahahaha!! If you want change in this area, engage in. I completely agree with the 'don't play below your league thing,' since I have learned the hard way that relationships like this with a guy too different from yourself does not work out.I use to have a really romanticised view of dating guys (where looks and social status are irrelevant in terms of your feelings for each other) Though there was this guy that I liked whom is not considered good looking by others, while I was considered attractive by people around me.Though I was initially attracted to his personality, confidence, height (qualities of men which you deemed attractive to women which was true for me). Share with us your thoughts, and once there are some answers, Ill share my answer too. Are you assuming that those initial contacts are random, chance events? As a Member of LibertizingDentists, you can start . These things are worth noting because they can put a strain on your future relationship. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/! I know that a lot of women fear that they wont be feminine enough if they show any interest to a man, or initiate in any way. But I also seem to get more approaches from guys outside of school, whether it'd be a dinner party or whatever. I said no worries your the better man and hugged him! Instead, initiate with your subtle signalling or high value banter. As a college sophomore, I have made a lot of guy friends who I would definitely be interested in possibly exploring relationships with at some point, and I know that they are attracted to me (because they say so and make it abundantly clear in their stereotypical drunk-boy compliments), but nothing ever happens with them because I know a drunken hook up would be a huge mistake. I've been wondering if I should text him today or not as the weekend is coming up soon. And that is where a lot of women lose out. How are you putting your life together. In my own experience, I like to be with a man who isnt intimidated by me, simply because I dont think thats a good foundation for a relationship. Or is that still considered initiating? Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. According to popular culture, they're all man-children and parasites! Been married for 7 years, happily, to a guy who I initiated contact with! He's made updates on fb through his phone. And I figure that even if my text doesn't ask for his reply, he'll still contact me if he wants to meet up again. The last guys I've dated have willingly initiated every date and pretty much all the contact in between, but seem to miss me writing or texting once in a while to ask what's up.Also, since you say 'men get away with what you let them', I assume women should be the initiative part on the "where is this going" subject? Andrew, I have been following your posts from past few months and they are very practical and positive. What about shy men? did nt even know he was going to join. Another reason why guys wont initiate contact is that they are not ready for a relationship yet. We've had sex, I've let him initiate all the way. I would ask my best guy friends but no offense to themI am fairly sure that I am at least out of their league so I don't think they will be a good judge necessarily.Also can you comment on like how fit is too fit Because I love working out and I have always been an athlete and I do it because I want to like the way I look and I hate when guys like think girls with abs are scary. Advice appreciated! After all, it will give you a sense that he likes you, too and that your feelings are by no means one-sided! Our first class together I caught him looking at me twice, just staring a bit, we were only 8 people in class. "Yes, definitely. Of course, this doesnt mean that hes not into you it could also be that hes really into you and is afraid of scaring you off by contacting you before you initiate contact with him. I just want to stay in the woman lane and be a woman and a man be a man. Its no secret that most men only want one thing, right?Well it turns out thats not only wrong, but may actually be the root of many failed relationships.In fact, the one thing men are universally obsessed withIs actually a feeling hes been chasing his whole life.Its an elusive combination of emotion and biological drive thats rarely satisfied in life or love.===> (The secret obsession that makes men fall in love) - (What men look for in The One) <=====And when you know how to satisfy this life long obsessionHe will make it his life long mission to cherish and please youAnd he will pursue your love to the ends of the earth.Heres a video you wont want to miss that shows you how to become your mans deepest obsession:===> (The most powerful emotion for men) - (Men fall in love with women who do THIS): <=====, The particular nutrients you find in this program have been clinically shown in supplying you a stunning and long-lasting improvement. All the selling points I'd used to get her on board (gentleman, nice, thoughtful, etc) were qualities I'm looking for. I don't think most men do this for women. This is the equivalent of the male question "how do I know if she rejected my approach because I am not attractive enough or because I didn't approach her confidently/casually/quickly/wittily/naturally/etc. Or sometimes they really don't care at all, and just move on to the next one. If they don't though, then yes, you would need to initiate because he probably assumes that you aren't interested. Ive done a lot of thinking about this, and Ive come to an insight Id like to share with you, and maybe have you bounce back your thoughts to me. Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Neither can a guy, actually, since in the short term he will normally only have girls below his league be receptive. What about if he sends the first and last text? So I think the short answer to your question is that no, most men don't put up hurdles that a woman needs to jump over to get a guy of a higher caliber. If he doesnt know how to approach you, then it could be that he has a social phobia and is afraid of rejection. I was hoping he was checking me out, but wasn't sure. There are just way too many variables to try and read into a lack of approach.Does approaching mean you have to take the lead every step of the way, initiating a date, initiating physical contact, initiating sex? P.S. Thanks for reply.I read your post on 'rejection' and think it is wise. To your guy friend, it looks like you cheated on your legal husband, then dropped guy-friend when you thought that a better guy might become re-available. However, it is also partially because it is more acceptable to approach a stranger at a bar, where people aren't in a hurry to go somewhere and it is less of a violation of their personal space and time. If he cancels or lets you down two more times CUT HIM OFF, end of story. He asked me out. I've had so many arguments with male and female friends over this. I'm so confused because he sends too many mixed messages. Is your man hiding something? Could be he likes to chase a girl but at the same time could be he thinks I'm being very unavailable and I actually likes him a lot and don't want to lose him. When you pick up that phone and contact him, you risk looking desperate. I was drawn to himWe get out and both are following me to the club, we start talking and eventually all three on and 'C' just took my hand and we sat down outside. I'm really considering to be the one to propose to have coffee together :). I only ever contact men I consider friends, not men I am interested in. Initiating is clearly getting confused with chasing. Don't make the mistake of acting angry or showing him that you are hurt. High value banter is the most playful way of initiating with him. Heres an article I wrote for you on How To Make Him Chase You And Value YOU. Look, I understand the whole fear behind the advice to never initiate. "Initiating contact" can mean so many things.In my experience, the courtship dance (or initial seduction) is very much a dynamic process. He agreed. I used to have a few male friends, and we only became friends because I started talking to them. So, to end this, lets engage in a little thought exercise. Its your job to initiate and weed out the men who arent worth your energy. They really like a woman, maybe a little too much for their own liking and they are terrified of rejection, so they do everything in their power to avoid this. Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now. Do I have to be the one to initiate since he probably thinks I'm not interested since I've been trying to set him up with my friend? After a girl rejects me a couple times I usually give up. Chasing a man means youre trying to extract value and youre not at all attuned to him. 329 views, 25 likes, 5 loves, 29 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Living God Tabernacle -God's Spoken Word Evangelism: 2023-01-22 SUNDAY SERVICE _"IF YOU ARE BORN AGAIN, WHERE IS. If it is a first date it might mean that he is not especially excited about going out with you but you can't really expect him to be very invested in a relationship with you at that point - especially if he has options, you may be another pretty girl. Why would he want to keep in touch yet not tell me how he feels about me?? They tilt their head to one side. Later that day I thanked him for a great time and he did the same. Because just deciding to never initiate wont help you heal and wont put you on the right track. "The hurdle is her appearance and personality" This may be the case in establishing attraction but once dating has begun in earnest--- tests or hurdles actually test that personality of hers for its authenticity and weakness. But could maybe use more advice on being fun and approachable! They might have been single for so long that they are afraid of getting into a bad or rocky relationship. So now I'm left wondering: did I damage this not-yet-a-relationship beyond repair? Oh this is exactly my situation too! In general, you will know someone is just playing games if they always say sweet things, but their actions dont match their words. We can end it here, you can agree to see him the times he is free and we can text too. Tears are good. Maybe he considers it impolite to leave his friends, maybe he is tired and not in the mood to take chances, maybe he was harshly rejected on a recent approach and is nursing his wounds. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset. "Too much pressure. by the way whenever we met we are acting friendly each other but feel he lkes me and he feels lke hm wthout words.on our last 3 rd date we met and his cousin also joined us whom I ve never met before. That being said, if a guy is stunned by her beauty, she probably isn't considered the hottest thing ever by ALL men, so she probably gets approached frequently by them.In general, I think women get approached more in proportion to how attractive they are, but there might be this phenomenon as well, whereby the hottest women (9s and 10s) actually get approached a little less than the attractive women (7s and 8s). That's his job. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. Other examples of 'good' hard to get behaviour and 'not so good' hard to get behaviour?And this may belong with another subject/post (what attracts men (not including appearance) ? Yet the calling frequency doesn't last. In other words, a secure attachment that allowed them to naturally and intuitively learn the art of courtship and the mating dance. My friends told me that since he has always texted me first, that it's ok if I send him one as I don't want to seem uninterested. On rare occasions that filter will let in guys who actually don't like her and sometimes it will keep out men who actually do like her; but overall she will be better of having it than not. I'm looking forward to the "shy guys" post as well! Some men, accustomed to being 'in control' on dates, may find that disconcerting. If the guy is constantly making the effort wouldn't he eventually get the impression that the girl isn't that interested anyway? But some men like athletic bodies and others like the voluptuous type. Most men I know find it easier to approach women he is LESS interested in because he is less bothered by the possibility of rejection.Just because a guy approaches you doesn't mean that he's into you. He must want the woman badly enough to procreate with her, and be invested enough to help take care of the babies into adulthood. Other than that women don't need to do a thing. When you tell him that you like him but that you want him to initiate contact, he will most likely follow through! Do NOT chase him. "Or do guys think a woman should be as approachable as possible? The solution to never chasing a man is not to be passive! So if a guy is not contacting you first but always responding, then it could be because hes intimidated by you. and i impressed with your writing and your blogGclub 50% Gclub >>> Gclub online, This is really an amazing article. If he's texting you back when you contact him, that's a good sign you haven't lost his interest. Yes, even today many men will think that if you call him. What about women who use the 17 Attraction Triggers? Some of them in most girls' view, I think. It's probably the least important thing that ever happens in a healthy relationship. Damn, after reading your blog I have learned exactly how I have done all the big ol no-no's and still survived to tell the tale! I feel that some people are just more compatible with others, have what the other is looking for, more things in common, same intelligence level, education level, social economic status, you are their type, etc. When a guy is not in his integrity and also makes no attempt to commit to you fully or give you reassurance in any way, then hes most likely just playing games. "Also, are we talking about a first approach (as in the bar example) or those first floundering steps towards a potential relationship (as in most other text)? You never want this moment in time to stop. Or are you advising women to be passive wallflowers until cold-approached by a man? What does 'exciting/attractive unpredictable' look/sound like?Cassandra. I am European and thought there might be a difference, but my friend who's pushing me into texting first is in fact American. The biggest difference would be that you wouldn't have wasted your time or become unnecessarily emotionally attached to a guy that was obviously going to leave (to whatever small degree you did get attached, I mean).You don't "not initiate" to make him like you more - because it won't - you don't initiate to save yourself going through the whole dating process only to get dumped. I don't approach men in bars or anything (I could if I wanted to, in venues like that I'm not shy), but I want them to approach me. My ex husband was my first boyfriend. However, if you are into it or you think it is sweet, by all means, go for it, girl! i.e. Yeah! 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